Fitness Test
by This One is Dead
Summary: Sequel to Samus's Diet Plan. Zelda and Peach have reached their deadline. However, Samus is going to take what they have learned to the test. Unfortunately, she's bringing the male Smashers down with them...


The door to the mansion's gymnasium opened as Zelda and Peach collapsed on the doorway. They were both so exhausted to the point where they couldn't lift a finger. Samus walked to them.

"Great work out, girls," she said, "I'm proud to say that today was your deadline!"

Even though they didn't want to move at first, Zelda and Peach lifted their heads eagerly. Did she just say what they think she said?

"Are you serious?" Both exclaimed in unison.

Samus nodded her head, "But just to make sure I got you guys into shape, I'm going to put you two to the test."

Zelda and Peach groaned as they placed their heads back to the ground. Not now...

"But because you two look a bit...out," Samus said as she looked at the tired princesses, "we'll test it out tomorrow. Meet me in the game room tomorrow at two. Don't be late."

Samus waved off as she left Zelda and Peach in the ground. The princesses didn't bother getting up.

-

1:59 PM

Zelda and Peach practically fled to the game room. If there's one thing both learned while working out with Samus is to not even be five seconds late in the bounty hunter's watch.

At the very last second before two o'clock, they got to the game room door just in time.

Samus stood in the doorway and was found looking at her watch.

"Right on time, girls." she said. Samus opened the door and left it open for the both princesses to enter.

Why would Samus test out the girls' strength in the game room? How?

Samus lead the two other girls to the part of the game room where Smashers play on the Wii on a big LCD television screen. When they got there, they saw most of the human male Smashers competing against each other in Mario Kart Wii. Every once in a while, one of the guys would try and attempt to make a huge turn, only for their head to be hit with someone else next to them.

All screaming and yelling of the gamers died down when the television was suddenly turned off.

"Who did that?!"

They looked around, and they saw Samus with a remote in her hand, tossing it up and down.

While this entire scene was going on, Zelda and Peach was just let wondering how the hell Samus knows that the guys were here. As a matter of fact, how did she know they were going to be here? She knew this yesterday...

"TURN IT BACK ON!"

"YEAH, I WAS WINNING!"

"Can you all just shut up?" Samus sighed.

They continued to complain and whine until Samus brought out her Paralyzer. That was when everything became silent. The silence was enough to bring Zelda and Peach out of their confusion state.

"I'm about to give you guys a little challenge." Samus said. She found Roy exiting the crowd.

"Hold it!"

Roy froze.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

The red-haired turned around, "Umm, you see...I'm not in the Brawl tournament...I'm just here to visit-"

"Get back!" Samus snapped back, pointing at the small crowd of Smashers. Roy got back to where he was in a completely confused manner.

"Anyways, as I was saying," the bounty hunter continued, "this challenge is to play tug-of-war with my clients."

Zelda and Peach were left wide-eyed. This can't be Samus's idea of a fitness test!

"This is to test out their fitness, so it would be a great favor for the three of us!"

Apparently, it is her idea of a fitness test.

The seven Smashers agreed to the game. What can possibly go wrong?

-

A rope was laid on the floor outside the backyard of the Smash Mansion. A line was drawn beneath it with a chalk and a bandanna was tied right in the middle of the rope.

On one side, the seven male Smashers were having a simple conversation, while in the other side, Peach and Zelda continued to think how much of an idiot Samus is to think this is a good fitness test. It's two princesses against seven strong men! How the hell?

Samus arrived with a whistle in her hand, "Okay, get into position, everyone!"

Might as well just let them win and we'll keep on going to that pain of a gym, the princesses thought as everyone grabbed hold of the rope.

"Before we start, though," paused Samus, "we're going to make this a little bit interesting."

Oh god...What is she doing?! Peach and Zelda thought.

"Whoever wins must dare the losing team to do whatever they wish for the rest of the day."

This time, Peach and Zelda couldn't keep this to themselves.

"What the hell are you doing?!" both screamed out.

Samus didn't answer them, "When I blow this whistle, everyone start pulling."

Snake, who appeared to be the front person in the line of men and closest to Samus, smirked, "You can 'blow' on me any day,"

Samus rolled her eyes at the spy, "Ready?" and the whistle was blown.

All of them started pulling. It all started with the guys going easy. Then, much to their surprise, this wasn't as easy as they thought. When did those two women get so strong? They started pulling harder, but it was no use. It got to the point where they used all their strength, but it was useless.

Zelda grunted as she was pulling, "I know you guys are going easy on us!"

All of them shook their heads as perspiration started dripping from their chins. Peach and Zelda looked at them strangely as they pulled. What is going on? They can't be winning, can they?

They appear to be winning, for the bandanna on the rope of moving to the side where the girls were.

The one thing on the guys' minds were, what is this madness?

The game ended when all the guys fell to the ground and gave up. What diet did Samus put those girls through?!

"Peach and Zelda are the winners!" Samus announced.

The princesses stood with a blank face planted. What just happened...?

"Hey girls," Samus finally snapped her clients back to reality, "remember the deal!"

Oh right! The winning team must dare the losing team into doing something for the rest of the day. Well, geez...they have Captain Falcon, Snake, Pit, Link, Ike, Marth, and Roy to control now. They could make them do whatever they want. What an opportunity! What to do...What to do...

-

Samus has reported all of the Smashers, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, and the Assist Trophies to the auditorium. Why is there an auditorium in the mansion? I have no idea.

"I'm not going out like this!"

"Why do I have to wear this?"

"No fucking way..."

"Silence!" Samus whipped with her Paralyzer. That enough got them to be quiet.

"Well girls, I have to say," said Samus, "I would have never thought in getting them to do this,"

Zelda and Peach giggled at their success. In the group, Roy greatly regretted for visiting. Chances were that he wouldn't show his face around for a while.

The two girls went after Pit and started dragging him to the front stage.

"No!" yelled Pit as he struggles to back away, "Why do I have to go first?"

"Because you're the main character!" said Zelda.

"Besides, you actually look good." added Peach.

Pit was then pushed to the front stage and revealed himself to the audience...

wearing an Eternal Sailor Moon costume. He also held a fake long scepter, representing Eternal Sailor Moon's weapon.

Everyone in the audience started laughing. Pit stepped back in the stage with his face burning red. This is just too embarrassing...

Meanwhile, backstage, Peach and Zelda started dragging Ike. He was a bit more problematic than Pit, but even then, there was nothing the mercenary can do.

"Why can't Marth go now?" Ike started insisting, "He's the next to appear on the show!...I think..."

"Because you're canon with Sailor Moon!" said Peach as she and Zelda dragged him, "By the way, we need you to kiss Pit on stage,"

"...Wait, no!" said Ike, "I'm no Tuxedo Mask or Sailor St-"

"IT'S TUXEDO KAMEN!" Peach and Zelda yelled at his face before officially pushing him to the front stage. He revealed himself in the stage wearing a Sailor Mars attire. The audience roared louder in laughter.

"Well then," said Ike, "this is enough embarrassment for one day."

Ike started walking up to Pit, only for him to trip on his heals, making the audience laugh harder.

"These heels are a pain..." he muttered as he got up.

"What are you waiting for? Kiss him!" Peach yelled out.

Pit's face became darker, "They're telling you to..."

"Yes..."

Now, they don't mind kissing. It's kissing in a center stage cross-dressing for fan service they have problems with.

"Let's just get this over with," Ike sighed as he carefully went up to Pit and kissed him in the lips.

Once that was done, Peach and Zelda started dragging everyone else on stage. Just to make things go faster, Marth was dressed up as Sailor Mercury, Roy was Sailor Venus, Link was Sailor Jupiter, Snake was Sailor Uranus, and Captain Falcon was Sailor Neptune. Needless to say, Samus was one hundred percent responsible for the last two. Every time another cross-dressing Smasher appears on the stage, the audience would roar louder and louder in laughter.

"Sing it!" Peach and Zelda screamed out.

"No!" the seven yelled out.

"Sing!"

"No!"

"Sing!" this time, it was Samus with her Paralyzer. That enough got their attention. They all grunted. Well, here comes nothing...

"Fighting evil by moonlight..." they all sang and groaned at the same time, "Winning love by daylight..."

At this point, the auditorium started shaking slightly with the roaring of laughter coming from the audience. They really, really don't want to be here...

--

A/N: Ike and Pit are totally like Mars and Moon. Yes, they are.

Reviewers will receive a virtual plushie of whatever Smasher of their choice. :D


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